A 'Load 'of BALLS
After years of elf and safety, we now
get blithering Balls.
So now he tells us. Now he tries to
repent. Well, thanks for nothing, Chum
After 10 years of suffocating
legislation, the Labour Secretary for
CHILDREN and SCHOOLS
-Mr Edward Balls appears to have awoken
up to what
After 10 years of elf and safety, Balls
has plaintively called for children to be allowed to take a few risks:
HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT
CLIMB A TREE
GET A FEW SCABS BACK ON THEIR KNEES
Bring back the joys of childhood, says
the blithering Balls, as if Labour had nothing to do with the creation
GROSSLY OVER-REGULATED SOCIETY AND
"Children should not be wrapped in
cotton wool." said Balls yesterday, as if he hadn't a clue about
the innumerable prohibitions
-has placed on
My dear Balls, if a nursery
teacher tries to wrap a child in cotton wool, she would be disciplined
for engaging in appropriate physical contact.
I'M QUITE SERIOUS
Nursery school teachers are not
-in case the child is allergic to
CALPOL IS VERBOTEN
-You need written permission to smear
suncream, because any adult seen doing so is assumed to have some pervy
IT IS TECHNICALLY FORBIDDEN
-to ask a child to stand on a chair (he
or she might fall off), and as far as for disciplining children -you
have no idea of the
-that can be
visited on an adult caught in the act of trying to exercise authority.
Take the case of poor Olive Rack, 56,
who has 20 years experience as a nursery teacher and last year saw one
of her charges - a two-year-old whacking a baby over the head with a
large wooden brick. The toddler was about to have a second crack when
olive intervened and took her by the hand to the naughty chair.
Alas, he actions were spotted
through a window by the emanations of
Two early learning advisers from
NORTHAMPTON COUNTY COUNCIL
-happened to be doing an inspection,
and grimly noted the event. Five weeks later, to Olive's utter
THE POLICE TURNED UP
-on her doorstep and charged her with
THE CASE WENT TO COURT
collapsed when the toddler's mum said the
WHOLE THING WAS BONKERS
-and that Olive was a good nursery
My friends, no wonder it sometimes
feels that the world is going mad. At least Ed Balls has cottoned on.
"This is not the kind of society I
want to live in'
But where has he been for the last
-when Labour has been piling this sort
of thing on
TEACHERS and SCHOOLS.
HAS HE OR ANY OF HIS COLLEAGUES MADE A
SINGLE SPEECH IN FAVOUR OF RISK.
OF COURSE NOT
Actively or passively they are part of
the great yammering constitutency that demands ever more
PROTECTION and CONTROL
If Balls is really serious about
this, then let me issue him with a specific challenge
His department is now pushing through
detailed plans to take over the running of
IN THIS COUNTRY
These plans mean, on the face of it,
that more money is going into childcare - which we all applaud -
they also mean that thousands of
wonderful nurseries up and down the country, many of them run by
volunteers, will face new rules on the additional fees they have
These badly thought out restrictions
DRIVE MANY BUSINESSES UNDER
-and reduce the quantity of
childcare provision: and yet that is by no means the most demented
aspect of the plans
This very Balls, who claims he wants to
-is now insisting that anyone running a
pre-school for children aged 3-5 must have a qualification called
EARLY YEARS PROFESSIONAL STATUS
between six and nine months to acquire and involves showing that you can
do such blindingly obvious things as
COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN.
But the real kicker is that you can't
EARLY YEARS- QUALIFICATION
unless you have
WAIT FOR IT
What an amazing insult to the many who
work in nurseries, volunteers or professionals, who have never in their
lives thought it necessary to go to
-to be qualified to look after
As soon as you want to look after 13
children or more
Balls doesn't care what degree you
have. It could be in anything you have.
It could be anything from
-but you must have a degree.
Is it a ruse to help the GOVERNMENT
-of 50 per cent
in higher education.
Well I am all in favour of people
getting degrees if they
But what I recent is this insane
coercion, this attempt to micromanage who runs
-how they run them, and exactly what
qualifications they have.
Now is the time for Balls to stand up
for what he says he believes in . If he really agrees that an element of
childhood risk is the inevitable concomitant of
-then he should stop talking spheroids
and take the
of allowing 3-5-year-olds to be
educated by a degreeless nursery teacher.
[There is also to consider that an
excellent nursery teacher might for many reason not wish to take the
degree course and become a tragic loss while others might enter the
profession with the qualifications but not the close special
relationship with children that is already instilled in other
There is a huge chasm in British
politics, and it is not about the role of
-per se. We all believe that
-we all want a fairer and happier
society, and accept that the
-has a huge role in this.
But what Labour fails to recognise is
that their endless lust to meddle and regulate is not only adding
unnecessary burdens to
-but also to the
WHO IS PAYING for poor Olive to
YOU and ME
TAXPAYERS on very LOW INCOMES
WHO IS PAYING
for the increased costs of nursery provision that will inevitably result
from this batty insistence on special new qualifications?
The very hard -pressed parents that
Labour pretends to care about.
SO COME ON BALLS
-CORRECTION -OUR MONEY-WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS.
Drop these mad restrictions on nursery
schools, stop trying to use regulation to
-and let's hear it loud and clear
CHILDREN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO CLIMB
TREES AGAIN -AND YOU DON'T NEED A DEGREE TO TEACH A CHILD
TO CLIMB A TREE.
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